You’re really going through with this aren’t you? Now you get the shameful experience of downloading a dating app, congratulations. Hot tip – I like to hide my app of choice in the ‘utilities folder’ of my device, so I don’t die a little inside each time I open my phone.
Selling yourself with dignity (jk)
In the last blog we talked about these apps making rejection easier to take, because it’s initially not face to face. This is an advantage here, use it. The more honest and accurate you are in your profile, the less time you are going to waste with people that were drawn in by an embellished, filtered facade. Facades always crack and typically in the first five minutes. Do you really want to be that person who looked nothing like their photos? Pictures should be less than a year old, 18 months max and at least attempt to present your current hair colour and facial hair grooming situation. If you’re overweight or bald in real life and not in any of your photos you’re a piece of shit. Anyone superb enough to be reading this is clearly a catch so just be yourself *eye roll*. Keep in mind when curating this sales pitch, that who you want to be, is likely not who you are in this moment. We all want growth and development, this keeps us moving forward, but perhaps presently in this incarnation the ‘gym junkie’ tag isn’t that accurate. Be wary of the types of fish you attract with certain lures. Is the person who prioritizes boobs or a six-pack the kind of person you want to date? If not, consider keeping your shirt on, no matter what glorious assets you have stashed away under there.
It’s not a game people
Giving your app to your friends after a few beverages is not kosher. There are people that take this seriously and hopefully you are one of them. That guy with the face tattoos may have thought he hit the jackpot when he matched with you, and the crushing silence of your unanswered message may be enough to make him turn that hunting rifle from his profile photo on himself. Worst case scenario! Be conscious of how your actions here can impact on the receiving end. That is a real person on the other side, don’t forget that.
Don’t play nice
No pity dates. If you’re not into it and have no intention of meeting up, don’t waste each other’s time. Be clear and up front, and if you decide you just want to be friends and share first date horror stories make sure you are on the same page. With that volume there is no time for maybe. I personally think the system is broken, working only with someones photos, bio and messaging banter isn’t enough. Chemistry doesn’t come through on a phone so what we’re stuck with is a numbers game. Do they check basic boxes in terms of age, interests and basic physical requirements and can you exchange mild to moderately stimulating prose? If yes, you meet in person, breathe each other in and see if it adds up. The first date version of a person is likely not an authentic representation but be compassionate toward one another, try to thin out your own ego shell a little while not judging the thickness of theirs. Hair, clothes, muscles and makeup change fast, kind eyes and warm smiles tend to stick around.
TBC in part 3